I miss my boyfriend… I miss my companion… I miss the person who’s always been there, sticking up for me and never once, doubted me. I miss my confidante. I miss my teacher and my listener. I miss my source of sunshine and rainbows. I miss you…
It’s been days now and we haven’t really been talking. Although, I have to admit that this being far away from each other thing is finally healthy, well at least for me. I don’t know if things are going positive for you, cause again, we haven’t been talking. I’m not afraid, I’m not scared, cause even through these days that there hasn’t been the slightest sign of you, never, not even once was there a day… an hour, a minute, a second or millisecond that I’ve ever felt like I’ve lost the tiniest bit of love for you. Because in truth, I still love you more and more each day. You’re always on my mind… and not once have I thought about any other guy… except you. I admit, it’s been very difficult, not talking to you and all… but I’m also thankful for our time apart. It made me miss you more and realize that space really is important. As soon as I heard your voice a few days ago to talk about a really unavoidable important matter, I can’t express how happy my heart was as soon as you said “Hello?”… it melted and once more butterflies fluttered like crazy in my tummy. My mind went in a coma as Ecstasy drifted in me, realizing that this time, I could talk to you for an endless period because I have tons of stories to share with you again, what with our distance and no talking rule and all.
But even though this maiden has been thankful for the distance, thou cannot deny the fact of the feeling of loneliness. I have missed you… so much… and as much as I want to talk to you everyday, some things are now holding me back, I don’t know if it’s because I find solstice when I’m burying myself in my own thoughts everyday, or it’s because I’m comfortable being alone now, but then I’m still thinking of you, or it’s because I don’t know… I’m just waiting til’ you talk to me first or I’m saving up tons of stories to tell you… But whatever the case, there’s no doubt in me still feeling the same way, and undoubtedly… even more.
But then for today… I wish I was talking to you. Today, I wish I could hear your voice. Today, I wish somewhere in the far beyond, we were still together… talking, just talking, lying down and looking into each other’s eyes and know each other so well that we need not tell anything to each other anymore. Of course, that would be absurd, but then the complete me that I know… that I feel, whenever I drown inside those beautiful brown orbs is all I ever need to be… to feel, whenever you look back at me… Today, I wish I had you, I had love, I felt love, experience love in you… while we talk in desperate endlessness… Today I wish my trail of unknown and unending thoughts warned and stroked your ear, while you listened to whatever I have to say, either it would be me telling you I miss you… or just how stupidly stupid I am for you… Today I wish there was more of you, one for shopping, one for watching movies with me, one for every single day that I wish to be with you at different times, so I wish there was more of me too… Nothing can stop me from wanting more of you and nothing can stop me from loving you… that’s why if I can be this strong, then this bricked wall of force causes us to be superior… Super… Superhumans… Today, I wanted to hold your hand… feel the lines of your palms and close my eyes and breathe the air that you breathe and feel your flesh right against mine. Smile and praise God for creating you and giving you to me and always swim in the sea of smiles and awes and wonder of you.
Today, I missed you… Today I missed you as my best friend… And today… how I longed to talk to you as my friend.